Because bad taste is better than no taste at all.....

Sunday, June 25, 2017

#347: Summertime

The paper grocery bags sitting under the dining room table remind me I have more things I need to sift, both the physical ones and mental ones.

Some days it seems almost the uphill battle--I find homes for things, and Dent gets 4 packages in the mail with stuff he's ordered.

Come the moving day, however, those things will not be my problem. I'm looking to narrow my own stuff down to fit in a pick up truck or (at the most) a small moving van ( I doubt a full sized U Haul will fit back here in the sticks, narrow driveway.) This may or may not include furniture.

Of course, I might not go anywhere. It is literally in the air at the moment. I have.....I guess you could say "sampled" an option.... but my instincts are silent as to whether or not this is the right direction to go in. I have nothing to go on in the physical world, nor is my "gut" talking. I am in the dark here. Some days it seems it is the way to go--but then the silence at the other end of the line kicks in and I find I am literally talking to myself. So I guess it will have to wait till it's down to the wire. Not the way I wanted life to roll--I don't do things on impulse--it never ends well. I am "flirting with disaster", as the old song goes.

It has kept me up nights, and I suspect I'll be up a few more from now until then.

In the mean time, there is trailwork to do. Yesterday I talked Dent into helping a group up at old Grandfather mountain. There were water diversions to dig, and stones to move, and things to clip back. We came home covered in earthy red clay (it rained fairly heavily the night before) and tired. I was proud of Dent at the amount of work he showed he could do. I think he understands how much work goes into it, now.

I don't expect to get much sleep July 4th. The asshole up the road was up till 4 am on new years, setting off fireworks, and I can fully expect a repeat performance. Because heaven forbid anyone would have to work early the next day.  I can only wish missing fingers and a trip to the emergency room. Thank goodness for earplugs and a good fan to drown out at least some of the noise.  At the moment I am struggling to figure out what to do on that day--Dent is off work that week and I will have to think of things to do so that we don't annoy each other too much.

I expect to be spending a fair amount of time outside, doing gardening stuff that I've been putting off for far too long.

Stay tuned!

Monday, June 5, 2017

#346: Letting Go

This afternoon was spent sifting through photographs posted on FB. Of my child. At Disneyworld. She's 17.

It feels almost unreal, seeing her with her father and stepmom.

I hear it from other people from time to time. "How could you give up your child? I could never do that!"

I admit, it was difficult. I cried myself to sleep the night she left that final time, 13 years ago. I've cried myself to sleep many nights since then. It's never an easy thing to give up your child, whether it's adopting them out, or in my case, surrendering them to the other parent because you know--you *know*-- you can never care for them the way they need to be taken care of. Sometimes being an adult is knowing your limits. Sometimes "doing the right thing" is the opposite of what people expect you to do.

I gave up trying to justify it a long time ago. All I know in my heart, is that had she stayed with me, I couldn't have guaranteed her a "normal" childhood. Because I have no clue what that is. Could I have kept her? Certainly. But would she have the same opportunities  she is currently able to have?


Sometimes letting go is the greatest love of all.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

#345: Move Me.

As some of you may know, the Megs graduates high school next year. After this, I plan on going.....somewhere. But being literally able to go anywhere, you can imagine I'm having a bit of a difficult time figuring out where to go. I spent my early years in Georgia, and have lived a few years in Tennessee. I've spent most of my life, however, in NC. And now it's time for a change! I *could* perhaps hang a map up on the wall and throw darts at it.....Or perhaps I should ask a second opinion from you out there in badhairland.  (and third...fourth...fifth....) Where should I move to? Give me your best pitch! I need something to go on, besides "my town is awesome!" ;) What is there to do? What kind of jobs are there? Why do you think I'd be happy there where you are?

And now for the disclaimer: You don't win a prize if I pick your location (unless you consider having me as a neighbor as a prize... in which case, we can talk....)

You can comment here, email, or if you know me on FB, you can send me a message here.  Hell, record a YouTube video for all it matters (extra brownie points).  It doesn't matter, but in order for me to take it seriously, I have to feel like you *really* want me where you are.

I'll post the decision here, once I figure it out. ;)

And Good Luck!! :)


Monday, April 17, 2017

#344: Easter

Sunday found us wandering up at the local park. There were a lot of things blooming or beginning to bloom. I count this as Spring finally winning over. I had the camera, and Dent had the video camera going.

We even met a small snake, I am guessing it to be a garter snake. He was very well behaved and stopped to pose for us. This has to be the only snake I've ever met there, although I'm sure there are plenty more slithering around.

I amused myself by finding heart shaped leaves.  There were violets everywhere! They sprinkled the creekbanks with small purple splotches. I had the mental image of a fairy coming along at dawn with a paintbrush and flicking purple blobs all over the place.
Instead of eggs, we had fun hunting the different flowers, some of which I hadn't seen much of before.

I shall have to start going back on a regular basis to keep track of the stuff that blooms later on. :)
Stay tuned! 

Sunday, April 2, 2017

#343: MST

"Turn Left," said the squirrel voice from the Garmin. I looked over at Dent. "Do we really need to listen to this thing all the way there?"
Dent shrugged. "Unless you want to get lost...."
I have to say I am proud of myself. I spent the afternoon at a stranger's house, with about 30 people of whom I maybe knew 5-6. I managed not to freak out, or act goofy. Also managed to sound like I halfway knew what I was talking about (always a plus). Not too many people tried the pasta salad I brought, but that was ok. It'll get eaten sooner or later.
And...........I ended up with a shirt. Of course, it was because it wouldn't fit anyone else, but still..............

Stay tuned.