Because bad taste is better than no taste at all.....

Saturday, September 6, 2014

#296: A change of scenery?

So, a while back, I was considering a move. Said move would have involved moving nearly 1,000 miles to the northwest, away from everything I have known and have gotten used to. This move never happened. If I recall correctly, I asked for a sign. The next day I came down with a cold. Considering where I was considering moving to, I took this as some sort of omen that I should stay put. Not that I put much stock in omens, mind you. 

But the twitchings to change the scenery continued, and have to this day. And about a week ago, the urge took a new form. Something even stranger than moving to another state. How about another country? Sure, if I'm going to think of something outrageous that will (probably) never happen, might as well think big. But now I wonder. Plenty of people do it. 

Yesterday was payday for both Dent and I, and after I escaped work, and he'd paid whatever bills he takes care of, it was off to find some good Chinese food. It's been a while since we've gone out for Chinese. So we're puttering along the road, and the following conversation takes place:

Dent: "So, when're you getting rid of me?" (this is sort of a running joke between us. As if!)
Me:   "Never!  But.... I think it's time for a change of scene. Don't you? Something new."
Dent:  "Like what?" (Oh, if only you knew! I'm thinking.)
Me:   "What's the most goofy, the craziest thing you can think of?" 
Dent:  "Moving back to Georgia?" (We have 40-some acres for sale down there, BTW, in case you're interested.)
Me:   "Welllllll... Moving, maybe. But not there."
Dent:  "........................Can you give me a hint?"
Me:   "Have you ever heard the term 'study abroad'? As in 'being somewhere that is not here'. " 

At this point I expected Dent to say, "Stop the car, I think I'm riding with a madwoman." 

But, something happened that was even more bizarre.... he liked the idea. 

Still in the early planning stages yet--I want to be doing this about the same time Meg's graduates high school (in about 4 years!), so plenty of time to do research and whatnot. Should it happen this way, you'll be the first to know. 

So, no... I don't believe in omens.... but it's a bit odd that our fortunes last night were these.

Coincidence?

More on this later. 



Monday, August 4, 2014

#295: Tempus fugit

The one-year anniversary of Pop's death is right around the corner (has it been nearly a year already? It is depressing how time flies) While I am thankful that at least this passing was a quick and easy one (Mom's, close to 30 years ago, was a long, drawn out affair, over a series of months), the pain is still there. I have a sneaking suspicion that some sense of loss will always be there. But, there is no time limit on grief, unless you set one. There is also not a time limit on joy. Perhaps you could generalize and say there is no time limit on memories; which direction you take is up to you......

Time does, indeed, fly.

It is a tad depressing, not because I am turning the big 4-0 next January, but because my daughter is actually starting high school this month.

Strange, I wasn't this off-set ten years ago (most people get depressed when they turn 30....)

Thoughts?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

#294: Heaven help me

Heaven help me, I think I'm turning....girly.

If you know me at all, you'll remember that I am most certainly female, and occasionally feminine. But girly? NEVER. It's a rare occasion when I'm in a skirt, or in makeup (you'll remember a few posts back, where I mentioned both in connection with a friend's wedding.). So what the hell am I thinking? No, not pink poofy tutus or anything like that. I'm not going to start giggling over boys (Hello? I turn 40 next January...) But maybe playing "dress up" once in a while'd be good for me. Looking "pretty" once in a while(although if you want to argue I am already, thanks anyway). I don't know if this is a condition of getting older, or whether I am honestly changing to suit the world (or maybe the world is changing to suit me, I don't know any more). I'll let you know how that turns out.... should I think of an occasion to play dress up that doesn't involve some sort of cosplay..... ;)

In other news, I've been writing different things. You'll find some of the snippets here.  I'm also putting together a story of sorts, but whether or not it will turn out to be worth a crap (or even be long enough to publish in a book of short stories), only time will tell. The people involved are in my head, and they will not go away. So this is the outlet, to keep me from sounding insane. Or more insane than I seem to be getting already. I'm not even sure what age group it'd be best for; it's a bit too dark for the young adult crowd but I'm not sure adults would want to read it, either. Get back to you on that one, too.

A couple of weeks ago, the Megs came for a visit. I figured getting to see her early on in the summer would mean I could focus on other stuff once it got really hot.  She'd got contact lenses but wasn't real sure about them yet, she still wore her glasses from time to time. Amusingly, I got her started on Sherlock, because it had "Bilbo Baggins and that creepy guy from that Star Trek movie" (her words). Afterwards, she admitted he wasn't THAT creepy. I guess he grows on you. Or she decided the "smart" outweighs the "weird" (she likes Dr. Who, too.....) *sniff* I'm so proud...My lil girl is growing up.....

So yeah, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Stay tuned.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

#293: Black, white and blue.

So here I am, and it's Sunday afternoon. I'm dressed in a manner that the casual outside observer would best describe as "goofy", trying not to trip in sand. I'm wearing make-up for the first time since high school, and I've actually got a skirt on (something I don't do for just anyone...) There are people milling around me, similarly dressed, and some, as you can see, have kilts (Obviously, they are carrying off the look better than I am.). Off in the distance, there's two banks of folding chairs, each with a progamme and a little bottle of bubble stuff in the seat. Up front, there are a myriad assortment of people, standing in front of a home-built Tardis, complete with a little light on top that'll come on as soon as the sunlight fades. 

This has been in the planning stages for a while. It's a wedding--not my own, obviously. I never cared to be the center of attention, so you know this would be unlike me.  But here they are, in the photo above--the happy couple just after the fact. I wish them the happiest of days.

The bucketgarden™ is coming along nicely. The tomato plants I'd had to break down and buy at the Blue Store have really shot up, and they all have flowers on them now. Hopefully I'll get some tomatoes off them soon. The carrots have also sprouted, and I have some sort of pepper plants growing, although I won't know what kind till they actually start producing the peppers themselves (I stupidly didn't mark any of them when I planted them). I gave up on growing herbs in small pots, and just planted them in the big ones--they're actually sprouting now, although the sage still looks weird.  I have planted flowers in the small pots and planted flower seeds in other places. Hopefully things will be pretty in a couple of weeks.

I go grab the little one the first Saturday in June. Dent's birthday is a few days after that, so maybe we can plan something special for that day.

I'm in the process of separating the everyday out, and have started a new blog. This one will continue to be my "mundane" (sigh) blog. The other will be for the stuff I've been posting, when the wind and mood takes me. 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

#292: A giant can of worms.

..........You have no doubt heard that expression. Opening up a can of worms, as in bringing up a subject that would probably best not be brought up. But you do anyway. And so here goes. This has been building for quite some time. And you're likely to not want to speak to me, ever again.

So be it.

This needed to be said, and in a very public place.  Because others are, no doubt, thinking the same as I am. And they need to know they aren't alone, that others are thinking it too.

When I stumbled across your blog several years ago, I was overjoyed. We had lost track of one another for a while, and I always wondered what had happened to you. It was good to know you were doing ok. Absence making the heart grow fonder and all that crap.  But then I got to reading-REALLY reading--some of the stuff you post. And I've had to sit back and ask, "huh?" Some things here need clearification.

Mainly, about how your childhood was So. Fucking. Hard.

Obviously, I am missing something here. You must be leaving some stuff out. Yeah. That's it.

Were you abused as a child? Not that I can see. That sort of thing usually carries over, and when I stayed with you they left ME alone, at any rate.

Were you starved? Beaten? Made to live outside with the dogs?
No, no and no.

So what were you going on about? Oh yeah--you were WHINING about how your parents LIED about SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN FUCKING BORN. Something that DID NOT effect YOU in any way. Pardon me if I am not impressed. Because the decision involved was probably not an easy one--you do not just wake up one morning and decide to do this. Trust me--it is a long, slow PAINFUL process. *I HAVE BEEN THERE.* (yes, you read that last part correctly)

Okay, so I admit the news WOULD have been a bit hard to swallow this late in the game, would it not?. But it's like riding a bike. You get back on and keep moving. You certainly did. Or so I thought. But then I kept reading.

So what else went wrong with your life?

You didn't get to go see THAT movie on opening day.

................This brought a serious "WHAT THE EVER-LOVIN FUCK" from me. I got this mental image of a five year old throwing a TANTRUM because she didn't get the same Barbie doll as every one else. So you ended up doing something else on that day. Parents are like that--they might not "get" that something is that important to you, especially when you're little.  Funny, the Earth kept turning..... You DID eventually get to go see it, did you not?

Moving on.

Your most recent post was the kicker. You never got to tell a certain actor how much a particular movie meant to you. I can understand your sadness....It's often the little things that keep you from killing yourself. (I think if it hadn't of been for Tolkien's books, I'd of offed myself at 13...) But then you go on about how it "got you through a difficult time in your life".  This brings me back to the "you must not be telling us everything that went on" idea. So now I'm asking: WHAT??

So what went on that has you scarred for life? What terrible things went on that I apparently didn't see? You don't have to love your parents any more. But at least appreciate that you still have them around to be angry at.

Happy Fucking Mothers Day.

Feel free to reply, or email if it isn't for public consumption.

Scratch