Got tired of trying to come up with witty titles, so with this one we'll go with the date, instead.
When I was younger, a cousin gave me what amounted to a romance novel. I read it a couple of times, and then it got lost in the shuffle.
It was, so to speak, "not my thing."
Even at 16 I realized that love and relationships never worked that way, where the main cool dude sweeps the girl off on his high white horse and they rode off in the sunset. It just doesn't work. This cynicism has followed me through to being an adult, and it has kept me from being too disappointed.
My relationships have always been with the screw-ups, the imperfect. The ones few looked twice at. Mainly because I know I am not perfect myself, and to look for perfection in others would be, at best, impossible, and at worst, hypocritical on my part.
Some would claim I have settled for less than I should have. I do not regret a thing.
Lately, my wanderings into the world of online "pen pals" have brought me some interesting yes's.... and no's....People who insist I am pretty and look halfway decent themselves.... of course, this being the internet, I take it with a grain of salt, so to speak, and, as expected, they soon drift away and stop writing.
Or else they get stupid, and so I stop writing them.
I have been pulling peoples' strings... I am only waiting on the pull, myself, to show where the life line really is. Then it will be a matter of following it, to see where it goes.
It's coming up on a month now, since my self-imposed exile to the other end of the house. Coworkers ask me constantly why I am the one to move, if it's a point I'm trying to make, why not banish Dent there? But Dent can't sleep very well on the couch, and as it is hard enough getting his ass out of bed for work already (Yes, I still have to literally run his ass out of bed. Babysitting still.), no sense making it harder than it has to be. I jokingly refer to the arrangement as "roomies", but it is looking more and more that way. Oh, I still do my things--I wash dishes and do the laundry...and he still does his things--he mows the lawn, and opens things that are too tight, all the manly stuff. But I have been cooling off towards him, and I think he knows this.
No, I haven't stopped loving Dent. You don't just stop loving someone. It is a long, slow, very painful process. There are days I still miss the ex husband (this feeling quickly ebbs, however, when I remember what an arrogent ass he can be) All I can do at present is try to be as encouraging as I can be, in the time we may have left together. The hope is that he can finally finish something he started, and see for himself he doesn't need me around to be a real live grown up
One would hope so, anyway. It's the second week of his college classes, and after a couple of rough days (having to hurredly track down things he needed to participate in said classes because they were too stupid to tell him beforehand he needed them), it seems to be working. I'm keeping my mental fingers crossed on this one.
In other news, I have had to replace my old laptop. A couple of weeks ago I got the dreaded "blue scren o'death". The laptop still works, but I don't trust it to hold any valuable information. So after searching a bit, we found a small "notebook" computer that works almost as well. It's a lot lighter and I don't have to worry about the battery dying in 15 minutes. It has windows 8 on it, but I am not finding it as difficult to work with as it was on the Tablet Dent had at one point, either the progam is different for laptop/notebook computers or I am just getting used to it. I uninstalled a few things I didn't need and re-downloaded a couple of things. The keyboard is a lot smaller though, and I find myself misspelling things I wasn't before. Thank goodness for Spell check.
Finally, it's come down to the stuff I was dreading all along when I moved into the backwoods. Someone in the area thinks it's worthwile cruising down the gravel driveway with their lights off, scoping out places to break in. Several places have been hit already, although I don't know anything has really been stolen, just more like messed up. In a way, I had expected this sooner. You can't see the back door (which is what we use) from the driveway, and the front door has a screen of pine trees along the road so you can't really see it either. We're at the very end of the road, far back from any casual observers. Of course, that is also a disadvantage to them--because people have no business back there that time of night...you can't pretend to know someone when there's only us, and we don't know who the hell you are. Perhaps it's good that we're sleeping at opposite ends of the trailer.... if someone breaks the front window I'll know it immediately.