Saturday morning was the annual "Apple Festival". For you folks who don't realize just how redneck they do things here in the south, this is a good eye-opening example.
Sometime back in 1972, someone thought it would be cool to copy an idea they saw somewhere else--hold a festival showcasing the local arts, crafts, and all that other countrified crap that you see in small towns. They settled on apples, cause hey, they're good for you! And All That Crap.
I got dragged along 6 years ago, with relatives in the area. I can remember not being terribly impressed with what I saw, and hadn't been back there since. Recently, I was curious to see how much has really changed since then.
Not much, as it turns out.
Oh, I only got stopped once for the "you look like a heathen, here have a bible", which was an improvement from the last time we went. But there were still 500 booths selling food--and not one of them wasn't run by a church. See, to run a food booth at this thing it has to be a "non profit" bit. And here in the sticks "non profit" = Church. Which is a shame, cause I don't know about you, but I help folks because it's the right thing to do, not because some higher power told me to. But I digress again.
Oh, the crafts were suitably craft-y....the usual shit, the "whirlygigs made from soda cans" and the "quilts made from bubba's old tee shirts" kinda thing. As you can see, there's a lot of redneckiness going on here. It was almost enough to make me twitch, large crowds not being on my high list of things to be in.
Finally, we reached what we had battled the churchies and rednecks to find: a half set-up SCA display. We strolled by, talked to several people in garb I hadn't seen before, and then left again. Yeah, I know, not real supportive, but hey, at least we showed up. This was apparently their idea of a "membership drive".
After this, we decided it was high time to go get something to eat. So after wandering past the 500 church booths all selling funnel cake, we found a "greasy spoon" right on the square. Strangely, they had hamburgers, but not french fries..... Then we were off, to find adventure somewhere else......
Next post: Saturday, Part The Second
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